Disguised Dreams

I have a rather queer habit
Of dreaming up
Nightmares for myself
Whether it involves being bullied,
Being forced to speak in front of a huge group of
Insensitive people
Or simply
Something hurtful
I like to dream up
Worst case scenarios
And solve them in my head
Most of them are simply odd
With even odder solutions
And what scares me
Is that while these solutions
Have been proven
To work
I would have never dreamed of doing
Or saying something
Like them
And this makes me wonder
Whether my worst case scenarios
Are simply me dreaming
Of best case me
Put in a situation
Where the newly created me
Can show off her
Grace and poise
I wonder
Whether these nightmares
Are actually
Disguised dreams

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