Usually when I like someone
words flow freely
I can write pages
on how he looks and acts
and smiles and feels
But this time around
the words are lodged
In my throat
Unable to translate
To my hand

Moving on

I wonder if he remembers the conversations we used to have
He blushed every time he saw me
But asked me to stay with him nevertheless

I wonder if he remembers feeling anything for me
Because I remember how it felt
When he still cared
He was awkward and so was I
But our awkwardness adjusted around each other
Till it was almost comfortable
It doesn’t feel like that anymore

I remember him texting me and calling me and talking to me
I just never anticipated him ending it
He has moved on
But I remain stuck in what I thought would be
The foundations of our relationship
But now I’m stuck in another could’ve been
Another would’ve been
Another never to be

I just don’t know how to make him miss me
Like I miss him
Because his monosyllabic responses
Are like little knives
Designed to wound not kill
(He must want to keep me alive
To feel the pain)

I never anticipated
Him leaving
(Before I did,
I always thought
I was the fickle one)
And now
That we’re on the precipice
Of never being anything
I just want
(I just need)
to make him stay