What Lies Ahead

It’s 3am and my mouth is
speaking of its own accord and I am
running on pure adrenaline
I’m looking forward to what’s coming, but
I’m dreading what’s coming and I know
that a contradiction, but
aren’t most people contradictory?
People change their minds, people are fickle
And people don’t analyse themselves so much
Buts that’s only because
I’m analysing for them
I’m not sure what this poem
was meant to be
But now it is simply an
ode to people
And adrenaline
And what lies ahead

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This Is Not Poetry

This is not writing
This is not poetry
This is my soul on a screen
This is my feelings stained with ink
This is a cry for help
This is me confessing
This is a rant
This is a scream
This is me going mad
This is an analysis of my bad choices
This is romanticization
This is using metaphors
This is me hiding
This is not writing
This is not professional
This is not a career
This is the way I stay sane
This is an anchor
This is me in the worst way possible
This is me in the best way possible
This is a contradiction
This is an utter mess
This is a story
This is a fairy tale
This is not poetry
But I don’t have a better word for it
So, I guess ‘poetry’ works

The Fire

The fire started as just
a small spark, hues of
red and yellow
danced in the air
They crackled with
fiery enthusiasm and
a naive belief that they,
the flames
were invincible
As they rose higher
and higher, so did
their confidence
But the fire forgot
that it survives on others
And soon,
it ran out of victims

I Don’t Love You.

I know what love looks like.
I know what love feels like.

It’s messy, like
children playing a game
or an artist covered in paint

It’s beautiful, like
sunsets and cold nights,
Messy buns and
aesthetic blogs

It’s heart wrenching, like
your favourite book, ending
the best friend you don’t talk to anymore, and
that those times you were targeted unintentionally

It doesn’t come in a particular shape or size,
it’s not available easily.
But when it arrives, you will know its there.
You will recognize love when they smile at you for the first time
and your heart beats faster for that second
You will recognize love because your soul will see theirs, and instantly
click.

I know what love looks and feels like, there are
a thousand ways to describe it
I know what love is,
and what we have?
It definitely isn’t love
It doesn’t even
come close.