This Is Not My Voice

Lately, my voice has
not been my own, my
inadequacy has been
the one speaking, and
there always seems
to be a lump in my
throat, I am choking.
Choking on air,
choking on life,
choking on me.

But I guess this is
how it works, right?
People move on,
people leave, people
don’t care, like you,
who doesn’t care
about my words.

So I guess this is
me saying I’m
drowning, me saying
I feel like I’m shouting
myself hoarse in an
empty desert, me
saying ‘sorry. I know
you want to leave, and
you can.’ This is me
wishing I could leave
myself behind.

Lately, my voice has
not been my own
and I have felt like
crying constantly.

Lately, I’ve been thinking
about people not
caring alot. I’ve been
thinking about him alot.
I’ve been wishing
for miracles for a
while, and this mind
of mine is driving me
to ruin and I just want
to survive, I just
want to live

So lately,
when my
inadequacy speaks,
I let it.

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