You (30 of 30!)

You feel like the end of a chain
of bad decisions, like with you,
my body has given up; the dominoes
have been falling,
falling, falling, and
with you, the last one has
fallen and I have been
buried under the weight of your ego.
You feel like the result of years of no work, of years
of broken flowers and empty promises
of years of stupidity.
You feel like the condensed form of
every bad word I
have ever dared to utter, like every
slap I should never have given, like
the morning after pill; I taste my
bitter memories every time we kiss.
You feel like all the things I shouldn’t have done, and
this, this feeling is why I’m leaving.
Because if I stay, you won’t be the
one to blame. I’ll be the one burying
myself, and I don’t think I’m ready to
leave this life behind.
So I’ll be leaving, because
you feel like death and I,
I just want to feel alive.

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