Precipice of Ruin

I’ve been collecting disappointments for
longer than I can remember- if this
sadness was a currency, I would be
richer than you can imagine.The thing
is, people like me are thinking about
things too little for other people to
worry about. The thing is, I feel much
heavier than a fragile thing like me
has the right to, the thing is, the glass is
empty and there’s no way to look at it
positively anymore- what am I
suppose to do now? My bank is almost
overflowing with guilt and regret, and
it’s almost pooling at my feet- I am
ankle deep in my own bitterness and
I’m not sure how to step out of it. So
tell me, what do I do if my mind is
in tatters? I feel like atlas, only
I can’t take all the weight- my
shoulders are
popping out of their sockets, my head is
spinning and my little collection of
angry is doing no good, how do I
help myself? How do I make order out
of chaos, method out of madness, and
kindness out of sadness? If I let go
will I be able to survive? Or will
I just fall to my death with only my
disappointment keeping me company?
How do I survive myself and the world
around me without tearing my muscles
apart? Right now, I am a step away
from the precipice of ruin, away
from the edge of the end and honestly
I just want to take that one step and let
go of this all; I want to plummet till
Im not afraid: till I am fully free.


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