Muse Striketh Back pt. 2/ 84

See, I never really understood you.

I loved you like a distant thing, 

like a constant thing, like

something that would figure 

itself out, so I guess I shouldn’t 

be surprised that this decision 

doesn’t make any sense. 

I wish I could say I’m angry, and 

I am, but more than that I’m torn. 

More than that I feel like 

everything I wished for is

slipping through my fingers, and

everything I hoped for is leaving; 

More than that I just don’t 

understand what changed.

I don’t understand where the

silence turned uncomfortable,

where the quirks became extra

work, where your life diverged 

from mine so far that you 

decided I wasn’t worth it.

I guess I’m a bit angry, I mean,

don’t I deserve an explanation?

Don’t I deserve something more 

than this, I mean, couldn’t you

have done this any other way?

Any other place? Any other time?

Did you really need to leave so

abruptly? Did you really need to

leave at all? 


reminder/ 83

Before it begins, hear me out: 

I am not the sun, or the stars. 

I am not the girl who stands out

in a room full of strangers, I am 

not the girl who you’ll gravitate 

towards- my magnetic field 

doesn’t attract much- I am not

the girl that people orbit. But,

but I have never wanted to be,

I have always known I can’t 

conquer the world, so i instead

tried to illuminate the small corner 

I call home. I have always known

I’m not good at much, so I tried 

to find something I could call 

my own, and I found it, nestled 

between two books in a shelf in

my grandmother’s room, I found it

waiting for someone to grab 

and cherish it, and now that I found

it, now that I found myself, 

I don’t need your validation. 

I don’t need your badge, your 

placebo recognition- nothing you

give me will change my life. 

I chart my own route, and I’ll

survive without you. I always have. 

I always will.