Muse Striketh Back pt. 2/ 84

See, I never really understood you.

I loved you like a distant thing,

like a constant thing, like

something that would figure

itself out, so I guess I shouldn’t

be surprised that this decision

doesn’t make any sense.

I wish I could say I’m angry, and

I am, but more than that I’m torn.

More than that I feel like

everything I wished for is

slipping through my fingers, and

everything I hoped for is leaving;

More than that I just don’t

understand what changed.

I don’t understand where the

silence turned uncomfortable,

where the quirks became extra

work, where your life diverged

from mine so far that you

decided I wasn’t worth it.

I guess I’m a bit angry, I mean,

don’t I deserve an explanation?

Don’t I deserve something more

than this, I mean, couldn’t you

have done this any other way?

Any other place? Any other time?

Did you really need to leave so

abruptly? Did you really need to

leave at all?

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reminder/ 83

Before it begins, hear me out:

I am not the sun, or the stars.

I am not the girl who stands out

in a room full of strangers, I am

not the girl who you’ll gravitate

towards- my magnetic field

doesn’t attract much- I am not

the girl that people orbit. But,

but I have never wanted to be,

I have always known I can’t

conquer the world, so i instead

tried to illuminate the small corner

I call home. I have always known

I’m not good at much, so I tried

to find something I could call

my own, and I found it, nestled

between two books in a shelf in

my grandmother’s room, I found it

waiting for someone to grab

and cherish it, and now that I found

it, now that I found myself,

I don’t need your validation.

I don’t need your badge, your

placebo recognition- nothing you

give me will change my life.

I chart my own route, and I’ll

survive without you. I always have.

I always will.