2014

It’s been a year since anything important happened to me

Like you

And as of now

I live in the past

Because all I want is to go back to our 10pm conversations

Or go through the whirlwind memories we created

2014 was me shrinking

2014 was the year I told myself I grew

2014 was the year I learnt the words anxiety and depression

It was the year I realized my body is mine

My brain is mine

And I might not want any of it

It was also the year I realized

Everyone likes me

But nobody cares

And,

I just want to go back to the time I felt loved and I felt wanted and I felt fucking invincible in your arms and I don’t want to grow up, I don’t want to be alone. All I want every night is for you to remind me why I should love myself because darling I’ve forgotten half the list already.

2014 was me tricking myself into thinking I was fine

And I would like to begin 2015 by saying I may not be.